So much ache floating
within these empty days
between 1 and 365
behind my third eye,
I can feel the loss
Calculated and cruel,
Memories collect
pieces of driftwood
An emotional dam
immobilizes purpose
every current pushes the past up,
close enough
to be detonated
under indivisible
Grief
Multiplying
Loss
under and over
my rib cages
tying tightly
breaking all
before the fall
Questions and missed salutations
stack themselves as barriers
1000 times heavier
than an albatross
Forever
Carrying
Splintering
Family trees
Trying to rise
From lies
And burnt lives
There is only one
Escape route
Deep below
Healing wounds
And permanent
Scars
A former adolescent self
folds adjacent to hope
Like origami
Carefully dismantling
nuclear turmoil
Magnifying
ache and shadows
Tilting the universe
And untying the equator
Releasing its own equilibrium
To free fall and orbit
Into
Unhinged depths
Just beginning
To be understood
Broken hearts
Lost souls
Wrecked lives
Left behind
To reconcile
past and present
Discarded promises
vehement screams
shouting
unfulfilled
upspoken
conversations
gasping
grasping
the ground
finally
praying
and
expressing
gratitude
I will
always
love
you
thanks
for the
splinters,
scars
walls
and
waves
of
occasional
joy
and
the
chance
to heal-
October 17, 2012 —
Goodbye brother
December 24, 2012 —
Goodbye grandma
January 13, 2014 —
Goodbye mom
July 23, 2014–
Goodbye grandpa
January 10, 2017 —
goodbye dad
can you feel that?
It’s called waves of mourning;
Sometimes, without warning,
I cannot breathe,
But each time,
I get pulled under,
I remember
to keep healing-
And hope
buoyantly
Keeps me tethered
To my dreams
Just beyond blue skies.
@soulinspiredkcr
Kimberly C. Rhyan