Mourning Waves

So much ache floating

within these empty days

between 1 and 365

behind my third eye,

I can feel the loss

Calculated and cruel,

Memories collect

pieces of driftwood

An emotional dam

immobilizes purpose

every current pushes the past up,

close enough

to be detonated

under indivisible

Grief

Multiplying

Loss

under and over

my rib cages

tying tightly

breaking all

before the fall

Questions and missed salutations

stack themselves as barriers

1000 times heavier

than an albatross

Forever

Carrying

Splintering

Family trees

Trying to rise

From lies

And burnt lives

There is only one

Escape route

Deep below

Healing wounds

And permanent

Scars

A former adolescent self

folds adjacent to hope

Like origami

Carefully dismantling

nuclear turmoil

Magnifying

ache and shadows

Tilting the universe

And untying the equator

Releasing its own equilibrium

To free fall and orbit

Into

Unhinged depths

Just beginning

To be understood

Broken hearts

Lost souls

Wrecked lives

Left behind

To reconcile

past and present

Discarded promises

vehement screams

shouting

unfulfilled

upspoken

conversations

gasping

grasping

the ground

finally

praying

and

expressing

gratitude

I will

always

love

you

thanks

for the

splinters,

scars

walls

and

waves

of

occasional

joy

and

the

chance

to heal-

October 17, 2012 —

Goodbye brother

December 24, 2012 —

Goodbye grandma

January 13, 2014 —

Goodbye mom

July 23, 2014–

Goodbye grandpa

January 10, 2017 —

goodbye dad

can you feel that?

It’s called waves of mourning;

Sometimes, without warning,

I cannot breathe,

But each time,

I get pulled under,

I remember

to keep healing-

And hope

buoyantly

Keeps me tethered

To my dreams

Just beyond blue skies.

@soulinspiredkcr

Kimberly C. Rhyan