Flight Forward

Over the past 48 hours, I have seen some posts comparing 2022 to a new flight. The following memories flooded the timeline of my heart-

When I was a kid, my grandmother would play this Flight Final album every time I spent the night. She was a very faithful Nazarene/Christian.

This record tells a story of taking a flight and talks about being ready (or not ready) for death.  As a kid, the narrative/message puzzled me more than it scared me.

I was already fearful of this life, because I was sexually abused from 11-14. I questioned God more than I believed, and my doubt was built upon fear of being abused daily and nightly. It was my step-father’s abuse and my mother’s lack of action to defend me that convinced me to question God’s love.

I remember when I was 13 and I experienced a conversion and testified as a believer. I cried at the church alter but didn’t whisper a word about my abuse. My belief was centered around being saved from my abuser(s).

I prayed for God to rescue me. My heart hoped but my life didn’t change for 7 months. I prayed & was violated within the same breadth.

Later, it was a youth pastor that reported my abuse to the police. I was placed in foster care and my prayers changed from being rescued to reunification with my siblings, which happened once. I found protection but peace was missing.

My heart always felt broken, but yearned for healing. I prayerfully searched for peace but I was emotionally wounded and scarred. I played charades, pretending to be fine when I was actually harmed. So when I became a Christian, I learned to be “fine,” when I was still hurting inside. It was easier to profess than progress wholly forward.

I knew love because of my grandmother. I felt God’s love through her hands. I knew she wanted to prepare my heart. I know she prayed for me, to the day &  hour she left this earth on her own final flight.

In my forties, I search for understanding, not out of fear, but from hope that was cultivated from my grandmother’s prayers. I am not detoured but seeking & learning.

May we each live with purpose & authentically progress to grow & heal during 2022.


Published by soulinspiredkcr

I am an experienced speaker, trainer and consultant that teaches and inspires universities, foster care agencies, foster youth and families to practice resilience strategies via storytelling, creative arts and heart work. My passion is to empower individuals and organizations to succeed! Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest & Instagram: @soulinspiredkcr Bookings: Please contact kimberly.c.rhyan@gmail.com

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